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Before the report, I'd like to share with you the autographs I got. Instead of them writing impersonal messages, I got Chip, Colin, and Brad to draw pictures of themselves for me. Check them out. ^_^
Brad
Chip
Colin
Improv Allstars
June 4, 2005
Eugene Oregon
Okay, so Greg came out and did what I understand to be his usual spiel. He introduced the guys and they all came out one by one, but there wasn't anything really interesting in the way they came out. In case anyone cares to know, this is how the guys were dressed:
Greg: black long sleeved button down, black slacks
Jeff: navy blue blazer over black t-shirt with white writing and black slacks
Chip: light blue short sleeved button down covered with tiny purple flowers and jeans
Brad: blue & white vertical striped button down with fancy yellow stuff edging the stripes, black pants
Colin: black short sleeved button down, black slacks
Ryan: light grey short sleeved button down w/ a black t-shirt underneath and black slacks
The first game was Freeze Tag. Starting positions were Chip showering and Jeff playing Wack-a-Mole which he turned into slapping Chip with a towel. Colin tagged out Jeff and went for Chip's crotch, saying something about how it was easier to milk the cows when they were standing. Ryan froze them and took Chip's place. I'm sure you can all tell how pleased I was with this. ^_^ The scene progressed into Colin being Ryan's butler and things moved on from there. Subsequently everyone grabbed Jeff's crotch. There was a whole string of jokes where the guys kept tagging each other out until everyone had a turn.
The next game was Moving Bodies, introduced by Chip, which Kat was chosen to participate in. She made an impression on the guys by climbing up a railing to get on stage as there weren't stairs on our side. Ryan came over offering to help her and then admonished Chip about the lack of stairs. So it was that Kat was intoduced as "the amazingly agile Kelly."
She moved Ryan and dude-from-other-side-of-audience moved Colin. At one point they apparently tried to get them to kiss (though Ryan's back was to me at the moment, so I didn't get to see this) but just ended up getting them to touch foreheads. I do applaud her for the attempt though. The scene was a sneezing festival, which really didn't seem to have much to do with what went on, but that's okay. There was a cute part where they got on a bike, but ended up facing each other, so it was decided that Ryan was riding on the handle bars.
Next Jeff and Chip sang to Lenore in the style of an Opera. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed this song a lot. The singing parts aren't usually my favorites, but then again, I have always liked it when they do opera for some reason. After a bit I started watching the guys seated in the background rather than Jeff & Chip. Ryan had run off somewhere for the duration of that game. Colin was watching Jeff & Chip looking politely amused. Brad looked bored and/or ill. Maybe just not happy, though that didn't reflect in anything else that happened over the course of the night. Greg seemed impatient. I saw him check his watch at least once. (It WAS a long song.) When Chip was doing a long note at one point, Jeff came over and grabbed his crotch so he'd go higher. I think that was the highlight of that game.
The next game was the equivalent of Film & Theatre Styles. It was played by Brad & Greg with Jeff calling. Started with the boys as bickering brothers and lost any semblance of plot soon after. One of the more amusing styles was "Eastern Interpretive," which, after about 5 minutes of discussion, was deemed to be a fancy way of saying "kung-fu." There were also the combined styles of "kabuki-blacksploitation" and "muppet-porn." Between muppet and muppet-porn Greg and Brad were over on the far left of the stage hiding their bodies behind the curtains (poking their heads out) and since this wasn't extremely fascinating to watch, I ended up looking to the guys not playing. I noticed that Ryan tended to watch Greg a lot more than he watched Brad. At one point Greg had his arms around Brad when Jeff told them to freeze. Greg doesn't, so Jeff tells them to freeze again. Greg looks at Jeff and just says "No." After the laughter dies down, Jeff says, very calmly "Porn." That style only lasts about a minute and when Jeff tells them to freeze again, Greg complains: "I haven't gotten to make my meat delivery yet."
Next game was Jeopardy with:
Greg: Alex
Ryan: Jerry Landers, mascot for the Oregon Ducks
Colin: a really chipper Death
Brad: Chickpea Marsupial, a sitar player for Dolly Parton
Chip: understudy for Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast
Jeff: Keanu Reeves
Colin was very quiet for most of this game, but then he doesn't seem like the type who would be very good at it. Jeff was VERY vocal and VERY funny and it's a shame they didn't let him win.
Some of the highlights were: During the introductions, Greg asked 'Death:' "What's after this world?" and Colin's reply was "A lot of baked goods." Ryan asked him if there was a Starbucks and Colin said no, which seemed to dissapoint Ryan greatly, so he modified his answer to that they were opening in 2007. For the category of 'cigar brands' someone said "Aspen," to which Keanu's answer was "How do I hold my ass together?" There was also this amusing thing about Martha Stewart not being as good in bed as you'd expect which later brought about Ryan's question to the answer of "Drew Carey" being "Who is the best in bed?" but Greg said that was wrong.
Then Ryan and Jeff played Sentences. Colin (unsurprisingly) tended to watch Ryan in this game. The scene was a father and son in a laundramat discussing their old Flounder business and their broken family. Ryan began by getting undressed and putting those clothes in the washing machine. Jeff came in and it was established that it was Jeff's birthday and that Ryan (as Jeff's dad) never remembered. None of the sentences themselves were that great, though one might have had the word Flounder in it, which would have been eerily appropriate. Also, for some reason that I'm positive had nothing to do with the sentences, Ryan donned a dress about halfway through the scene.
What I found most amusing about this game, actually, was Colin's comment afterward: "What I love about doing improv is that a crowd will whistle and snap at the fact of a middle-aged man pretending to undress."
Next they did sound affects which seemed to really incredulously surprise Ryan for some reason. Colin introduced the game and Greg & Chip played and they were being astronauts. The guy & girl they picked were actually pretty good. At the end, however, Chip tried to get his girl to sing the Star Spangled Banner, but her reply (playing someone on the other end of a radio) was "The record's broken, sir." VERY funny.
There was New Choice played by Colin and Brad and called by Ryan. They were in a Toilets R Us. The scene was funny if not particularly memorable. I watched Ryan a lot during this game. Colin's lines tended to make Ryan laugh, and at one point Colin said to salesperson Brad "You guys take this shit seriously," which was funny, but it was almost more amusing to watch Ryan's response to that. He was laughing so hard that he had to put down his microphone.
Then they did Greatest Hits and songs of the Loan Shark. They all seemed very pleased with that suggestion. Ryan, Greg, & Colin were doing the washed up band thing. Colin was being drunk the whole time. Greg called the first song, which was in the style of 60's rhythm & blues and called "You Took My Heart for Collateral." Ryan appeared to enjoy it as he was rocking back and forth in time to the song. I liked this song, but neither it nor the next one were very impressionable. Ryan did the next which was "Three Rings and a Guitar" done in the style of Hank Williams. Colin sobered up to do the last song, which was called "Loan King" and was done, to Greg & Ryan's amusement, as welll as Jeff, Brad and especially Chip's consternation, in the style of an Egyptian Rock Opera. They went all out for this one. The whole thing took at least 20 minutes, though probably more. Ryan, Colin, and Greg moved their stools back, leaving the stage clear. Chip started the opera by singing about how he was a loan shark and though he'd like to be more, he only ever be a loan shark.
Jeff comes out singing about how he owed King Tut $50,000 and begs Chip for money. He told him that the only collateral he could give was his brother, which Chip accepts.
Jeff & Chip run off stage and Brad comes on. He's sitting by the Nile waiting for his brother. Jeff comes in and tells Brad that he has bad news. He owes King Tut a lot of money, so he's sold Brad to a gay slave ship. Brad is obviously not happy.
So Chip comes out to claim Brad and there's some sort of vague argument, and Jeff runs off stage. Somewhere in there I remember Chip singing about how, with a little oil, they could make Brad's chest nice & shiny. Brad, all the while, is insisting that he's not gay, but no one cares.
Colin, Ryan and Greg come forward again (with Ryan and Greg bringing their stools) and take the roles of the slaves rowing the ship. At one point Ryan gives Colin his stool, which I found immensely cute.
Chip has Brad go and join the slaves. Brad goes behind them and stands up on two stools. He and Chip sing back and forth for a bit and then Chip tells Brad not to start a mutiny and leaves.
So, of course, Brad has to start a mutiny. He gets the guys' attentions and gets them all riled up, which is when Chip comes back. He demands to know why they aren't rowing and Colin, Ryan, and Greg get scared and "run away like Eqyptians."
There's a confrontation between Brad and Chip where Brad pulls an asp out of his pants and throws it at Chip. Chip drops to the ground and Brad climbs down from the stools. Just then Jeff comes back, but now he's wearing a head dress that appears to be fashioned from a t-shirt or rag bound around his head with electrical tape as he's now King Tut.
Chip calls out to the King begging for help and saying that Brad jipped him. There's a slight argument between Brad and Chip which Jeff ends by stabbing Chip. Brad had just sang something about not being gay to which Jeff replies "I know you're not gay!" and whips off the head dress to reveal that King Tut is Brad's brother and that this was all a test because Jeff is dying and wants his brother to take the throne. Jeff puts the head piece on Brad and he and Chip proclaim Brad the 'Loan King.' The End. ^_^ It was absolutely awesome and even the guys seemed impressed with it.
The encore was Conducted Story: The Magical Mouse with Ryan conducting. It was the story of Squeaky, a church mouse who was broke from playing the horses and had a $400 bar tab. In the bathroom of the bar he runs into a mouse in a top hat called Pussy Slayer (though he prefers to be called Mr. Slayer) who gives Squeaky a jar containing this magic dust that will grant him 38 wishes. Squeaky immediately pays his bar tab and then gets the girl he loves to marry him as well as curing her dandruff and bubonic plague. He runs all over town helping people until all the wishes are gone. There was some "Oh no! I forgot to put the cap back on the jar," thing, and then Pussy appears and tells Squeaky "The lid was always on... dumbass," which, while sort of sounding deep, wasn't really and was never even explained. The moral was: If you're a mouse with a gambling habit, and you don't have any money, if you keep a positive outlook on things, Pussy will help you."
Brad
Chip
Colin
Improv Allstars
June 4, 2005
Eugene Oregon
Okay, so Greg came out and did what I understand to be his usual spiel. He introduced the guys and they all came out one by one, but there wasn't anything really interesting in the way they came out. In case anyone cares to know, this is how the guys were dressed:
Greg: black long sleeved button down, black slacks
Jeff: navy blue blazer over black t-shirt with white writing and black slacks
Chip: light blue short sleeved button down covered with tiny purple flowers and jeans
Brad: blue & white vertical striped button down with fancy yellow stuff edging the stripes, black pants
Colin: black short sleeved button down, black slacks
Ryan: light grey short sleeved button down w/ a black t-shirt underneath and black slacks
The first game was Freeze Tag. Starting positions were Chip showering and Jeff playing Wack-a-Mole which he turned into slapping Chip with a towel. Colin tagged out Jeff and went for Chip's crotch, saying something about how it was easier to milk the cows when they were standing. Ryan froze them and took Chip's place. I'm sure you can all tell how pleased I was with this. ^_^ The scene progressed into Colin being Ryan's butler and things moved on from there. Subsequently everyone grabbed Jeff's crotch. There was a whole string of jokes where the guys kept tagging each other out until everyone had a turn.
The next game was Moving Bodies, introduced by Chip, which Kat was chosen to participate in. She made an impression on the guys by climbing up a railing to get on stage as there weren't stairs on our side. Ryan came over offering to help her and then admonished Chip about the lack of stairs. So it was that Kat was intoduced as "the amazingly agile Kelly."
She moved Ryan and dude-from-other-side-of-audience moved Colin. At one point they apparently tried to get them to kiss (though Ryan's back was to me at the moment, so I didn't get to see this) but just ended up getting them to touch foreheads. I do applaud her for the attempt though. The scene was a sneezing festival, which really didn't seem to have much to do with what went on, but that's okay. There was a cute part where they got on a bike, but ended up facing each other, so it was decided that Ryan was riding on the handle bars.
Next Jeff and Chip sang to Lenore in the style of an Opera. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed this song a lot. The singing parts aren't usually my favorites, but then again, I have always liked it when they do opera for some reason. After a bit I started watching the guys seated in the background rather than Jeff & Chip. Ryan had run off somewhere for the duration of that game. Colin was watching Jeff & Chip looking politely amused. Brad looked bored and/or ill. Maybe just not happy, though that didn't reflect in anything else that happened over the course of the night. Greg seemed impatient. I saw him check his watch at least once. (It WAS a long song.) When Chip was doing a long note at one point, Jeff came over and grabbed his crotch so he'd go higher. I think that was the highlight of that game.
The next game was the equivalent of Film & Theatre Styles. It was played by Brad & Greg with Jeff calling. Started with the boys as bickering brothers and lost any semblance of plot soon after. One of the more amusing styles was "Eastern Interpretive," which, after about 5 minutes of discussion, was deemed to be a fancy way of saying "kung-fu." There were also the combined styles of "kabuki-blacksploitation" and "muppet-porn." Between muppet and muppet-porn Greg and Brad were over on the far left of the stage hiding their bodies behind the curtains (poking their heads out) and since this wasn't extremely fascinating to watch, I ended up looking to the guys not playing. I noticed that Ryan tended to watch Greg a lot more than he watched Brad. At one point Greg had his arms around Brad when Jeff told them to freeze. Greg doesn't, so Jeff tells them to freeze again. Greg looks at Jeff and just says "No." After the laughter dies down, Jeff says, very calmly "Porn." That style only lasts about a minute and when Jeff tells them to freeze again, Greg complains: "I haven't gotten to make my meat delivery yet."
Next game was Jeopardy with:
Greg: Alex
Ryan: Jerry Landers, mascot for the Oregon Ducks
Colin: a really chipper Death
Brad: Chickpea Marsupial, a sitar player for Dolly Parton
Chip: understudy for Lumiere in Beauty and the Beast
Jeff: Keanu Reeves
Colin was very quiet for most of this game, but then he doesn't seem like the type who would be very good at it. Jeff was VERY vocal and VERY funny and it's a shame they didn't let him win.
Some of the highlights were: During the introductions, Greg asked 'Death:' "What's after this world?" and Colin's reply was "A lot of baked goods." Ryan asked him if there was a Starbucks and Colin said no, which seemed to dissapoint Ryan greatly, so he modified his answer to that they were opening in 2007. For the category of 'cigar brands' someone said "Aspen," to which Keanu's answer was "How do I hold my ass together?" There was also this amusing thing about Martha Stewart not being as good in bed as you'd expect which later brought about Ryan's question to the answer of "Drew Carey" being "Who is the best in bed?" but Greg said that was wrong.
Then Ryan and Jeff played Sentences. Colin (unsurprisingly) tended to watch Ryan in this game. The scene was a father and son in a laundramat discussing their old Flounder business and their broken family. Ryan began by getting undressed and putting those clothes in the washing machine. Jeff came in and it was established that it was Jeff's birthday and that Ryan (as Jeff's dad) never remembered. None of the sentences themselves were that great, though one might have had the word Flounder in it, which would have been eerily appropriate. Also, for some reason that I'm positive had nothing to do with the sentences, Ryan donned a dress about halfway through the scene.
What I found most amusing about this game, actually, was Colin's comment afterward: "What I love about doing improv is that a crowd will whistle and snap at the fact of a middle-aged man pretending to undress."
Next they did sound affects which seemed to really incredulously surprise Ryan for some reason. Colin introduced the game and Greg & Chip played and they were being astronauts. The guy & girl they picked were actually pretty good. At the end, however, Chip tried to get his girl to sing the Star Spangled Banner, but her reply (playing someone on the other end of a radio) was "The record's broken, sir." VERY funny.
There was New Choice played by Colin and Brad and called by Ryan. They were in a Toilets R Us. The scene was funny if not particularly memorable. I watched Ryan a lot during this game. Colin's lines tended to make Ryan laugh, and at one point Colin said to salesperson Brad "You guys take this shit seriously," which was funny, but it was almost more amusing to watch Ryan's response to that. He was laughing so hard that he had to put down his microphone.
Then they did Greatest Hits and songs of the Loan Shark. They all seemed very pleased with that suggestion. Ryan, Greg, & Colin were doing the washed up band thing. Colin was being drunk the whole time. Greg called the first song, which was in the style of 60's rhythm & blues and called "You Took My Heart for Collateral." Ryan appeared to enjoy it as he was rocking back and forth in time to the song. I liked this song, but neither it nor the next one were very impressionable. Ryan did the next which was "Three Rings and a Guitar" done in the style of Hank Williams. Colin sobered up to do the last song, which was called "Loan King" and was done, to Greg & Ryan's amusement, as welll as Jeff, Brad and especially Chip's consternation, in the style of an Egyptian Rock Opera. They went all out for this one. The whole thing took at least 20 minutes, though probably more. Ryan, Colin, and Greg moved their stools back, leaving the stage clear. Chip started the opera by singing about how he was a loan shark and though he'd like to be more, he only ever be a loan shark.
Jeff comes out singing about how he owed King Tut $50,000 and begs Chip for money. He told him that the only collateral he could give was his brother, which Chip accepts.
Jeff & Chip run off stage and Brad comes on. He's sitting by the Nile waiting for his brother. Jeff comes in and tells Brad that he has bad news. He owes King Tut a lot of money, so he's sold Brad to a gay slave ship. Brad is obviously not happy.
So Chip comes out to claim Brad and there's some sort of vague argument, and Jeff runs off stage. Somewhere in there I remember Chip singing about how, with a little oil, they could make Brad's chest nice & shiny. Brad, all the while, is insisting that he's not gay, but no one cares.
Colin, Ryan and Greg come forward again (with Ryan and Greg bringing their stools) and take the roles of the slaves rowing the ship. At one point Ryan gives Colin his stool, which I found immensely cute.
Chip has Brad go and join the slaves. Brad goes behind them and stands up on two stools. He and Chip sing back and forth for a bit and then Chip tells Brad not to start a mutiny and leaves.
So, of course, Brad has to start a mutiny. He gets the guys' attentions and gets them all riled up, which is when Chip comes back. He demands to know why they aren't rowing and Colin, Ryan, and Greg get scared and "run away like Eqyptians."
There's a confrontation between Brad and Chip where Brad pulls an asp out of his pants and throws it at Chip. Chip drops to the ground and Brad climbs down from the stools. Just then Jeff comes back, but now he's wearing a head dress that appears to be fashioned from a t-shirt or rag bound around his head with electrical tape as he's now King Tut.
Chip calls out to the King begging for help and saying that Brad jipped him. There's a slight argument between Brad and Chip which Jeff ends by stabbing Chip. Brad had just sang something about not being gay to which Jeff replies "I know you're not gay!" and whips off the head dress to reveal that King Tut is Brad's brother and that this was all a test because Jeff is dying and wants his brother to take the throne. Jeff puts the head piece on Brad and he and Chip proclaim Brad the 'Loan King.' The End. ^_^ It was absolutely awesome and even the guys seemed impressed with it.
The encore was Conducted Story: The Magical Mouse with Ryan conducting. It was the story of Squeaky, a church mouse who was broke from playing the horses and had a $400 bar tab. In the bathroom of the bar he runs into a mouse in a top hat called Pussy Slayer (though he prefers to be called Mr. Slayer) who gives Squeaky a jar containing this magic dust that will grant him 38 wishes. Squeaky immediately pays his bar tab and then gets the girl he loves to marry him as well as curing her dandruff and bubonic plague. He runs all over town helping people until all the wishes are gone. There was some "Oh no! I forgot to put the cap back on the jar," thing, and then Pussy appears and tells Squeaky "The lid was always on... dumbass," which, while sort of sounding deep, wasn't really and was never even explained. The moral was: If you're a mouse with a gambling habit, and you don't have any money, if you keep a positive outlook on things, Pussy will help you."
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