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Title: Rose Colored Glasses
Author: Clay
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating: R
Summary: In my mind the summary should be something along the lines of “Everything changes,” but that says nothing about the physical plot of the story, which is more along the lines of “Ryan and Colin go on a cruise,” but that sounds really dumb, so take the two and mix them together and there’s my summary. :)
Author’s notes: Forgive the first chapter. I think my Colin comes out mildly psychotic and Deb as the Queen Bitch of the Universe, but they get better.
Colin picked up the phone on its fourth ring.
“Hello?” he panted into the receiver. He had been out in the garden; the palms of his gloves were crusted with dirt as were the knees of his jeans. In his haste to get to the phone, he’d ended up tracking dirt into the house, dust and clumps of soil making a trail from the back door, through the length of the kitchen to where he now stood, one hand against the wall as he caught his breath. Deb was going to kill him.
But all thoughts of his wife, the floor, or even the dismally overgrown patch of land out back were forgotten as soon as he heard the voice on the other end of the line.
“Col?”
Was it? No, it couldn’t be. “Ryan?”
“Hey! How are you?”
“But you never call me.” It wasn’t the most intelligent answer, but Colin was too dumbfounded to care. Ryan really didn’t call him. They had exchanged numbers once upon a time years and years ago without thinking, but long, drawn out phone conversations had never been very appealing to either, and while they resided on opposite sides of the continent, that was all they could have. So Ryan never called Colin, but he’d never had to, not when they could go for so long without seeing each other and still pick up a conversation they’d left off in the middle of six months earlier.
“Well, I’m calling you now.”
Ryan sounded annoyingly chipper, so Colin decided not to bother asking if something was wrong. Instead he just smiled, confused but pleased, and asked, “What’s going on?”
“What’s going on,” Ryan replied, still excruciatingly happy, “is that you are going on a cruise with me.”
Well this was unexpected. “I am?”
“Yes!” Ryan gave a sudden, heaving sigh into the phone, and when he came back it was much quieter, but no less content. “I miss you, Col. We never see each other except when we’re working. Remember back in Vancouver when we could just hang out and do absolutely nothing because we saw each other all the time?”
“Yes,” Colin chuckled ruefully, “but half that time we were too tired from working long hours at shitty jobs to do much more than crash in front of the tv.”
“But we did it together.”
Colin had to admit that it sounded like fun. The last time they had really gotten to spend time in the other’s presence, not doing anything in particular – just being, back before wives and Whose Line and fame had to be twenty years ago. At least.
“Things are just so different now.”
Colin didn’t even realize he’d spoken aloud until Ryan replied, “Which is exactly why we need to get away. Just us. And Pat and Deb, of course, but let’s do it. We’ll get on a boat and sail away and leave work and lives and kids back on land for a week. What do you say?”
Colin smiled into the phone. Ryan had him convinced ages ago, but he wasn’t about to let on to that just yet. “And just when did you plan on going on this cruise?”
Ryan came back succinct and certain. “One month from today.”
He paused then and Colin’s smile grew wider.
“You know why?” Ryan asked, light and playful.
“As if I could forget.”
“Well?”
Colin sighed and closed his eyes, letting the memory wash over him. “I guess you could call it our anniversary.”
“Twenty five years from the day we met,” Ryan agreed in a rare show of sentimentality. “So what do you say? Will you go?”
Colin couldn’t seem to stop grinning. From the second he’d heard Ryan’s voice everything looked just a little bit brighter, the colors richer. “Of course.”
“Fantastic! I’ll make the arrangements. You just show up.”
“Wait...” Colin frowned, ever the logical one. “What about work? And how much will this cost?”
“Work?” Ryan scoffed. “Jesus, Col, let yourself take a vacation.” In the scant pause that followed, Colin opened his mouth to retort, but Ryan beat him to it. “And before you bring up the money argument – I’m paying for it.”
“But–“
“No buts! It’s a present, and yes, you deserve it,” Ryan said, effectively reading Colin’s mind. “Think of it as an anniversary present. You can... I don’t know... get me a watch or something.”
“Ryan...” Colin chastised, finally able to get a word in. “I can’t let you do that. I have money.”
“Too late.” The smarmy grin was evident in his tone even 3,000 miles away. “I’m paying. You’re going. That’s that. Bye, Col; see you in a month.”
And that was how Colin came to be standing on a dock in the Tampa Bay, suitcase in one hand and nagging wife at the other.
“Well? Where is he?”
Colin bit back the urge to sigh and replied as levelly as he could. “He’ll be here. He’s probably here already. There are a lot of people.”
“Well, I don’t know how we could miss him in this crowd; he’s so tall. I don’t think he’s here yet. This was his idea, wasn’t it? And he has our tickets. I think it’s rather rude...”
Colin turned away, doing his best to block out Deb’s running commentary. The Florida sun was bearing down on them, making the rather pleasant 80 degree weather seem like a cool day in Hell. He’d probably end up with sunburn on the top of his head.
He heaved a sigh, looking back to Deb.
“...and will you just look at that woman’s hat! This is why I don’t like coming to the states...”
Colin found himself wishing for the hundredth time since stepping foot on the airplane in Toronto that it was only he and Ryan on this trip. Oh, Deb would surely lighten up once they were on the boat; she was merely hot and cranky and nervous at the moment. They’d all end up having fun together, but Colin honestly would have preferred to spend the week with his best friend.
Speaking of whom.... Colin glanced around. There was still no sign of Ryan. He reached up to wipe a beaded line of sweat from his forehead and looked out over the ocean. It really was a gorgeous day. The sky was a deep blue, only marred by a few wispy white clouds. One of those clouds hanging low over the horizon caught his eyes. If he turned it sideways it almost looked like–
“Hey, a dinosaur!”
Grinning wildly, Colin spun to greet his best friend in the entire world. Ryan looked great as usual as he smiled at the same cloud Colin had been watching. A short sleeved dark blue button down beautifully accented his naturally tan skin and dark blond hair. In jeans and sneakers he appeared completely at ease.
Colin looked down at his own clothes, an environmental t-shirt he’d gotten free at some benefit or other and a pair of khakis, all chosen for purpose rather than style. He grimaced self consciously before once again looking up at Ryan, wondering if there was ever a time he’d looked that good.
“I was thinking more of a giraffe,” Colin replied, flawless grin still in place, “though dinosaurs are better....”
Ryan just grinned wider, scooping Colin into a tight sideways hug which Colin returned with relish. Seeing Ryan always left him practically overjoyed. It wasn’t anything he said or did; just his sheer presence seemed to make everything right in the world. As corny as it sounded, it actually made perfect sense. How could anything be wrong when there was someone around who he knew, just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would understand his every word, spoken or not, and back him up till he was blue in the face even when he was dead wrong. Someone who laughed at same things he did, who he could just sit with, each doing his own thing, not even speaking because it wasn’t necessary. Just his being there would be enough to put Colin at ease.
Colin realized with a start that while he had been staring at his friend like a love sick puppy, Ryan had asked him a question. He gave himself a shake and asked, “What?”
“I said, are you two ready to get the Hell off this God forsaken continent?”
“Oh,” Colin laughed. “Yeah.” He stepped back, swinging out the arm that wasn’t encumbered by his suitcase toward the ship. “Lead the way.”
But it was actually the women who took the lead, chatting pleasantly all the while. Ryan and Colin fell back a few paces, matching each other step for step as they followed in their female counterparts’ wakes. They were silent as they walked and very comfortably so, faces forward, arms brushing ever so slightly as if a subtle but constant reminder that they weren’t alone.
Colin loved walking with Ryan for just that reason. He loved to be touched, craved it like a flower craves sunlight, and Ryan was always very good at complying. From their everyday life to their on stage personalities, Ryan always found a way to touch him, to let him know there was someone there who cared for him.
Deb didn’t like to touch.
She had at first, back in the days when she was pursuing Colin and they were very much in love, but after the wedding things changed. Luke was born. They could no longer hold hands as they walked down the street because one or the other would be holding the baby. If Colin tried to walk closer, Deb would complain that he was crowding her. In fact, he got that a lot. Lounging on the sofa or snuggling in bed she’d often push him away and always with a soft, but stern “You’re crowding me.”
With Ryan he didn’t have to beg to be touched. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he so adored the company of the tall goof. Ryan had picked up on the need early on in their friendship, back when they’d lived in Vancouver, and catered to it accordingly. It was just the touch of his knee while watching tv or the infamous brushing of the arm while they walked, but it was always there; there was always something letting him know he wasn’t alone. Now it was more likely reflex than a conscious decision, but Colin appreciated it all the same.
Once inside their cabin Deb couldn’t seem to stop talking, and Colin didn’t mind. As long as she talked he didn’t have to. He was more than content to reside in his own thoughts, paying the barest of attention to her words so he could give the appropriate responses. Her chatter was something he had gotten used to over the years so that by now he could block it out or use it like white noise to help himself think. At this point, if faced with the prospect of absolute silence, he wasn’t sure he’d know what to do with it.
“...and we’re going to go wave to the people on shore. Are you coming?”
He could recognize it in her voice when she was wrapping up and took special care to put his full attention on the last two sentences.
“No,” he shook his head, smiling complacently. “I think I’m going to just read for a bit.”
Deb looked at him incredulously. “Please tell me that you’re at least going to go on deck to do that!”
Colin shrugged. “Well, I–“
“Have you been outside? It’s gorgeous. You are not spending this whole vacation holed up in here like some moody teenager. You know, this is where Luke gets it. If you were more active...”
She went on like that for another full minute, but Colin just watched her, his mind on the books in his suitcase, a couple of sci-fi novels. He considered them as he watched his wife’s lips move, forming words he didn’t register. Books had been a welcome escape his entire life, second only to improv. The two in his bag were calling to him, begging him to run away to worlds of perilous quests and epic battles.
All of this went through his head without any outward indication. He had gotten so used to Deb’s rants that he had perfected this sort of poker face. She wasn’t really mad. She just liked to talk, and now she wanted to talk about her disappointment in Luke in a way that left her free of blame. Colin didn’t mind. It was a self esteem issue, he was sure, so he would let her talk and she would be happy, and in turn she would leave him alone and he’d be happy.
When finally she finished, Colin put on the appropriate face and said, “Of course I’ll go outside.”
Luckily this seemed to satisfy her. Just then there was a knock on the door and Deb turned from nagging wife to gracious host in less than a heartbeat. The transformation would have shocked Colin had he not seen it thousands of times before.
As it was, he simply sat back and watched with a carefully neutral expression as Deb greeted Pat and Ryan with hugs and air kisses. Her earlier annoyance at Ryan had fled the second she’d spotted him, outwardly at least. If Colin hadn’t heard her complaining earlier, it would seem that she thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Their wives were in full on girl mode now, exclaiming excitedly over every little thing, accented by thousands of tiny touches. Their hands flew about like small, white birds, excited beyond all belief, flitting about in an effort to break free of their cage.
Ryan met Colin’s eyes over their heads, rolling his eyes and shrugging in a good natured ‘what can you do?’ sort of way. The girls were still talking in the doorway, so he squeezed around them to plop down next to Colin where he sat on the edge of the bed.
“So?” he asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, slouched and half turned to smile at Colin.
It was the vaguest of questions, but Colin knew exactly what he was asking.
“Well, it hasn’t even started yet,” he replied, referring to the cruise in general, “but it looks promising.”
“You’ll have a blast,” Ryan assured him, “and we’ll definitely find some time for just the two of us.” At those words Ryan lifted one hand to lay it gently on Colin’s knee.
Colin smiled, and it was that touch that caused it, conscious or not. Ryan was here. Of course he would have fun.
“You boys going to stay here?” That was Pat, cute and petite in a little yellow sun dress. Colin smiled vaguely at her. She was so small and perfect. Ryan used to pick her up and swing her around in their younger days.
Colin had always hated her.
But he pushed that thought aside with relative ease. He’d gotten so used to doing it, to plastering a genuine smile on his face instead of crossing the room and strangling the life out her thin, perfect body that it was second nature. He didn’t know why he hated her; he’d never really let himself contemplate it.
All he cared was that Ryan was still sitting beside him, long fingers warm against his thigh.
“Yeah,” Ryan answered. That was another habit they’d acquired over the years. If someone addressed them as a pair, Ryan would take on the duty of responding. Colin didn’t mind; Ryan knew him well enough to correctly deduce his responses, and besides, Colin liked hearing Ryan’s voice. “You two go ahead,” Ryan was continuing. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at their wives. “We’re going to stay here and catch up.”
The women nodded and turned to go, but then Deb turned back, pointing at Ryan and saying with a playful sternness, “Don’t you let him stay holed up here all day. He needs to get some sun.”
Apparently it was funny, her talking about him as if he were a deaf five year old. Ha ha. Colin smiled as they all had their chuckle, waiting patiently for the joke to dissipate.
Soon after the women were gone and Ryan and Colin were left alone. Finally. Colin looked to Ryan as he scooched back on the bed, leaning against the headboard, long legs settled across Colin’s lap. He didn’t ask if the intrusion of personal space was okay; he didn’t have to. Through trial and error over two decades, Ryan had learned that pointing out Colin’s need to be touched was as good as not touching him at all. Asking permission led to awkwardness and embarrassment, so he’d just stopped.
“So, what’s new with you?” Ryan asked, threading his fingers together and pillowing his head on his open palms.
“Not much,” Colin shrugged. And then with a playful smile, “Did I tell you I was going on a cruise?”
Ryan chuckled. “No, I don’t think you mentioned it.”
“Oh, yeah. My friend set it up. You know the guy: tall, gawky, huge nose...”
Ryan was outright laughing now. “Yeah, I think he told me about that. Said it was for this balding, backwater old man...”
They both dissolved into soft, sighing laughs and then just looked at each other. There was an incredible warmth in the room, an unspoken connection. Had they been women it would have been followed by squishy hugs and tearful ‘I’ve missed you’s,’ but they were men. Men didn’t do that.
Instead Ryan just shuffled a little, nudging Colin’s stomach affectionately with one calf. “What were your plans for the day?”
Colin blinked and then settled back on his elbows, staring at the opposite wall thoughtfully.
“What is there to do?”
“Well,” Ryan said, pulling his hands from behind his head to tick off a list on his fingers. Most of it sounded incredibly boring to Colin, though he was sure Pat and Deb would be taking full advantage of the spa and Ryan would drag him down to the pool at least once over the course of the week. “And then we’ll be docking at an island in the keys for a day for a luau,” Ryan remarked as he wrapped up. “Oh, and there’s a ballroom with dancing, but...” he waved a hand dismissively. “What do you think?”
Colin smiled, still watching the wall. “I think I want to read.”
Ryan laughed. “No wonder Deb asked me to take care of you. We’re going to have to drag you kicking and screaming to get you to have any fun.”
Colin turned to him, still smiling. He didn’t say it, but he was already having the time of his life. Just talking to Ryan, hearing that deep, rumbling voice and feeling the warmth of his skin through his jeans was enough to keep Colin content for months.
“You know what?” Ryan said after another moment of just watching each other. “I bet it’s going to be really crowded up on deck for a while, and I’m tired. Do you mind if I take a nap while you read?”
Colin wasn’t stupid. He knew Ryan was just making excuses so as to make his choice of activities feasible, and though he felt bad for keeping Ryan from going out and doing something, anything more active, the thought of lying on his belly reading a good book with Ryan snoring softly beside him was too good to pass up. He’d make it up to him later.
“I’d like that,” Colin said honestly, gratefully.
They had the kind of friendship where one could never be truly happy while the other was not, and on the other end of the scale, if one did something to make the other smile, anything they were giving up would be more than worth it. Now was no different; Ryan didn’t mind putting his plans on hold, not when he could do something for Colin. Besides, Colin would have done the same for him. He curled up on his side, his back resting lightly against Colin’s side and was soon fast asleep.
Colin had intended to start in on one of his books, but after only a few pages he became far too distracted to continue. With each inhale Ryan’s back pressed light against him. Even in sleep Ryan couldn’t seem to stay still.
Fascinated, Colin removed his glasses and folded them neatly, laying them on the beside table along with the novel. He lay his head on his folded arms, watching the back of Ryan’s head as it shifted with every breath. The tiny dark blond curls made intricate patterns, and soon Colin found himself drifting to sleep trying to find pictures in the back of Ryan’s head.
“They’re sleeping. It’s probably fifty degrees and pouring rain back home and they’re wasting this gorgeous day sleeping!”
“Well, Ryan did have to get on a plane, and you know how much that takes out of him.”
“Then what’s Colin’s excuse?”
“Deb, honey, they’re boys. We’ll never understand them.”
Colin opened his eyes slowly, awoken by the increasingly intrusive chatter of their wives. Some time while they’d slept, Ryan had rolled to face him and now Colin stared straight into his laughing green eyes. Ryan was smiling widely, lips pulled into an almost horizontal line, corners tilted dramatically, eyes squinted in silent laughter. Colin always thought he looked beautiful when he smiled like that. He couldn’t help but grinned in return despite the rude awakening.
They stayed that way for a moment and then Ryan winked, crying, “All right! We’re up! We’re up!” He sat up and Colin followed soon after, blearily rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Well, it’s about time!” Deb was standing a little ways off, hands on her hips, frowning slightly.
Pat was just behind her and to the left. She had her arms crossed, amusement lighting up her eyes.
Colin watched her. He saw her look from him to somewhere above his head – meeting Ryan’s eyes, he assumed. She started laughing then and Colin knew it was because of something Ryan was doing just for her. He couldn’t stand to look at her one more second.
“Come on, boys,” Deb said with a sudden spring in her step. She gave a twirl, her floofy, printed skirt lifting with the movement. “You’re taking us to dinner and then dancing!”
Ryan pulled a face. As Deb was speaking he had crawled off the bed and crossed the room to envelope Pat in a tight backwards hug. Colin was still staunchly not looking at them.
“I hate dancing,” Ryan groused.
“But Colin loves it,” Deb countered, now doing a little impromptu dancing of her own. She stooped down, reaching for Colin’s hands and attempting to pull him to his feet. He gave only the weakest of resistance but was too heavy for her to pull him to his feet without his allowance.
It was true that he liked dancing. There was just one problem. “I’m a terrible dancer.”
“Then you’re in luck!” Deb smiled, reaching for Colin once again. This time he let her tug him forward, climbing to his feet reluctantly. “There are salsa lessons tomorrow morning!” she declared, guiding Colin into a waltz.
“You two are too much,” Pat giggled, still settled securely in Ryan’s arms.
“My little Frank Sinatra,” Deb cooed, spinning Colin and giving him a brief hug.
Colin stumbled out of the spin gracelessly to fall back on the bed. “More like Frank Zappa.”
“Not even,” Ryan laughed. “At least he could sing.”
“Oh, posh.” Deb waved a hand at him, and then finally stopped her dancing to address their friends. “Well? What are you waiting for? Go get changed! We’ll meet you outside the dining room in an hour.”
“An hour?” Ryan exclaimed.
“Honey,” Pat said, tilting her head far back to look into her husband’s eyes. “You can’t rush greatness.”
“Exactly,” Deb smiled. “Now go.” She waved her hand dismissively.
Colin watched them leave with a carefully controlled mask. Ryan turned at the threshold to wave, and Colin ed him a genuine smile and waved right back, but the moment Ryan was gone, the smile went with him.
Colin’s eyes followed Deb as she flitted about the room. First she had to lay out clothes for herself and then she laid out clothes for Colin, knowing he was just as content to show up in jeans and a t-shirt. She rethought her dress, took a quick shower, rethought her dress again, put on makeup, rethought her dress yet again, did her hair and then finally end up in the dress she had originally chosen.
It really did take an hour.
Most of the time Colin spent resuming his reading. With Deb’s running diatribe in the background, it was easy to concentrate. Fifteen minutes before they were set to go, and just as Deb was starting to freak out, Colin jumped in the shower, shaved, dressed and still had five minutes to spare.
They ended up ten minutes late.
“It’s these damn shoes,” Deb was complaining as she walked arm in arm with Colin through the uncomfortably cramped corridors. “They’re the only ones that do this dress justice, and you had to go and pack them all the way at the bottom of my pink suitcase....”
Deb had packed all her own clothes, but Colin didn’t mention that.
He spotted Ryan down the corridor, looking down and smiling, presumably speaking with his wife though Pat wasn’t visible over the heads of the people crowded between them. Just then he looked up and caught Colin’s eye. He smiled wider and waved them over. Colin was suddenly reminded of their days in England. It had been that long since he’d last seen Ryan in a proper suit. He looked good. Then, he always looked good.
When they met up, Deb greeted their friends with those air kisses she was so fond of while Colin stood back and watched.
Dinner was an erratic affair. They were seated at a large table with two other couples. Pat and Deb bonded instantly with the other wives, though all four men remained somewhat reserved. It frustrated the women to no end, but what they didn’t realize was that men were far less interested in talking than they were about doing. They didn’t get to know each other by asking questions; they had to challenge each other, sort out strengths and weaknesses and only when a sufficient bond was formed would any sort of real conversation commence.
They tried, if only for the womens’ sakes. Conversation was short and halted and eventually completely overpowered by the force that is the female gossip.
Colin made a minimal effort to be social. Sandwiched between Deb and Pat he felt very alone, an island surrounded by miles and miles of water. Ryan tossed him an encouraging smile every now and again, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted a touch, but there was no way Ryan could comply without making things awkward.
Instead Colin shuffled his chair closer to Deb, brushing his thigh against hers. A moment later she scooted away. He tried again, laying his hand on the table so that the back of it just brushed the hairs of her bare forearm, but again she moved away. Finally Colin reach out to lay one hand on her back in a gesture he’d always assumed was loving but not too intimate for public display.
Deb had been leaning forward, discussing some sort of perfume with the blond woman across the table, but now she sat up, shrugging his hand off as she did so.
“Colin,” she barked, and then paused, remembering where they were. “Darling.” She was smiling now, voice sugary sweet. “Would you mind moving over? You’re crowding me.”
“Sorry.” Colin gave her a weak smile and pushed his chair back. He could feel Ryan’s eyes on him, but refused to look up. He knew his friend would be watching him with pity, and he couldn’t stand it. Suddenly he couldn’t breathe; he had to get out of there. Now.
He jumped to his feet so quickly that he actually toppled his chair. One leg collided painfully with his calf, but he didn’t let on, didn’t even flinch, just carefully bent down to right the chair.
“Sorry,” he said for the second time in less than a minute. “I think I’m going to go. I’m beat.”
“You can’t go...” Deb was whining adorably, but he could see the anger in her eyes.
“I’m really tired.”
“But the dancing...”
“We can go dancing tomorrow,” Colin offered. She was still watching him, anger melting into curiosity. He lowered his voice considerably. “Please?”
“Well, of course!” Deb stood then, hugging him in a way that wouldn’t crinkle her dress. “If you’re not feeling well, then of course you can go.” She smiled brightly and shooed him away. “Get some rest. We have a lot planned for tomorrow!”
The gracious wife act was just for show, Colin knew. He’d hear about her anger and disappointment later, but that was okay. Just more background noise to read to.
He didn’t go back to his room, however, but made his way around the deck, circling the large ship in a lazy circuit.
The air was still warm from the day’s sun, but it held the promise of growing far colder before morning. Young couples traversed the ship hand in hand, arm in arm. It was a depressing sight, Colin thought as he wandered the deck alone.
They were far from shore now, land just a pithy line on the horizon. Out on the ocean the stars shone brightly in an inky black sky. Colin looked up as he walked, trusting his feet to take him where they may. Staring up like that he felt as though he were falling.
“Hey.”
Colin jerked to a halt, his gaze swinging down to find the owner of the voice. With the sudden movement he became disoriented. If he had been falling into the sky, then wasn’t he upside down now? Confused, his body took a stumbling step backwards, but a large, warm hand reached out to steady him.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Concerned green eyes looked almost black in the moonlight.
“Ryan.” Colin smiled. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Ryan returned, smiling bewilderedly. He searched Colin’s eyes, the hand that had steadied him sliding around his shoulders in a vague hug. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“Me? Yes, I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?” Ryan certainly didn’t look convinced. Colin knew he Ryan could read him far too well to be placated by such an obvious lie, but he wasn’t in the mood to discuss his shortcomings at the moment.
Colin smiled into Ryan’s eyes, knowing Ryan wouldn’t believe him, but saying it anyway. “I just needed some air.”
Ryan continued to watch him, wanting to pry, but wondering if any good would actually come of it. Colin just met his gaze evenly. He had gone to his zen place. No matter how long Ryan stared at him, he wouldn’t crack. Rather, he found he was enjoying the moment. Ryan still had one arm slung around his shoulders; their faces were inches apart. He could taste the filet mignon and rich bordeaux on his friend’s breath and wondered, for just a moment, if he would be able to taste it on his lips.
“There you two are!”
Pat was striding toward them, hands on her hips, a smirk playing about her lips, and the moment was gone. Ryan stepped back, leaving one hand on Colin’s back but raising the other arm to wrap around the tiny, perfect waist of his tiny, perfect wife.
“We were starting to think you two had run off together,” she laughed, snuggling into his side.
Deb came up beside Colin and threaded her arm through his, tugging him away from Ryan. He let her. Her touch wasn’t the same, but it would do.
“I thought you were going to bed,” she said as they all began the walk back toward their adjacent cabins.
Colin shrugged. “I never made it.”
Deb laughed quizzically, giving his arm a squeeze. “Colin, darling, you are a piece of work.”
Colin ed her a humorless smile and then moved his gaze to the horizon. A head of them the sky met the water in a thin white line that quickly graduated to blue and then black. Somewhere the sun was still shining, but for now Colin had only the light of the stars to guide his way.
tbc
11/07/05
Author: Clay
Pairing: Ryan/Colin
Rating: R
Summary: In my mind the summary should be something along the lines of “Everything changes,” but that says nothing about the physical plot of the story, which is more along the lines of “Ryan and Colin go on a cruise,” but that sounds really dumb, so take the two and mix them together and there’s my summary. :)
Author’s notes: Forgive the first chapter. I think my Colin comes out mildly psychotic and Deb as the Queen Bitch of the Universe, but they get better.
Colin picked up the phone on its fourth ring.
“Hello?” he panted into the receiver. He had been out in the garden; the palms of his gloves were crusted with dirt as were the knees of his jeans. In his haste to get to the phone, he’d ended up tracking dirt into the house, dust and clumps of soil making a trail from the back door, through the length of the kitchen to where he now stood, one hand against the wall as he caught his breath. Deb was going to kill him.
But all thoughts of his wife, the floor, or even the dismally overgrown patch of land out back were forgotten as soon as he heard the voice on the other end of the line.
“Col?”
Was it? No, it couldn’t be. “Ryan?”
“Hey! How are you?”
“But you never call me.” It wasn’t the most intelligent answer, but Colin was too dumbfounded to care. Ryan really didn’t call him. They had exchanged numbers once upon a time years and years ago without thinking, but long, drawn out phone conversations had never been very appealing to either, and while they resided on opposite sides of the continent, that was all they could have. So Ryan never called Colin, but he’d never had to, not when they could go for so long without seeing each other and still pick up a conversation they’d left off in the middle of six months earlier.
“Well, I’m calling you now.”
Ryan sounded annoyingly chipper, so Colin decided not to bother asking if something was wrong. Instead he just smiled, confused but pleased, and asked, “What’s going on?”
“What’s going on,” Ryan replied, still excruciatingly happy, “is that you are going on a cruise with me.”
Well this was unexpected. “I am?”
“Yes!” Ryan gave a sudden, heaving sigh into the phone, and when he came back it was much quieter, but no less content. “I miss you, Col. We never see each other except when we’re working. Remember back in Vancouver when we could just hang out and do absolutely nothing because we saw each other all the time?”
“Yes,” Colin chuckled ruefully, “but half that time we were too tired from working long hours at shitty jobs to do much more than crash in front of the tv.”
“But we did it together.”
Colin had to admit that it sounded like fun. The last time they had really gotten to spend time in the other’s presence, not doing anything in particular – just being, back before wives and Whose Line and fame had to be twenty years ago. At least.
“Things are just so different now.”
Colin didn’t even realize he’d spoken aloud until Ryan replied, “Which is exactly why we need to get away. Just us. And Pat and Deb, of course, but let’s do it. We’ll get on a boat and sail away and leave work and lives and kids back on land for a week. What do you say?”
Colin smiled into the phone. Ryan had him convinced ages ago, but he wasn’t about to let on to that just yet. “And just when did you plan on going on this cruise?”
Ryan came back succinct and certain. “One month from today.”
He paused then and Colin’s smile grew wider.
“You know why?” Ryan asked, light and playful.
“As if I could forget.”
“Well?”
Colin sighed and closed his eyes, letting the memory wash over him. “I guess you could call it our anniversary.”
“Twenty five years from the day we met,” Ryan agreed in a rare show of sentimentality. “So what do you say? Will you go?”
Colin couldn’t seem to stop grinning. From the second he’d heard Ryan’s voice everything looked just a little bit brighter, the colors richer. “Of course.”
“Fantastic! I’ll make the arrangements. You just show up.”
“Wait...” Colin frowned, ever the logical one. “What about work? And how much will this cost?”
“Work?” Ryan scoffed. “Jesus, Col, let yourself take a vacation.” In the scant pause that followed, Colin opened his mouth to retort, but Ryan beat him to it. “And before you bring up the money argument – I’m paying for it.”
“But–“
“No buts! It’s a present, and yes, you deserve it,” Ryan said, effectively reading Colin’s mind. “Think of it as an anniversary present. You can... I don’t know... get me a watch or something.”
“Ryan...” Colin chastised, finally able to get a word in. “I can’t let you do that. I have money.”
“Too late.” The smarmy grin was evident in his tone even 3,000 miles away. “I’m paying. You’re going. That’s that. Bye, Col; see you in a month.”
And that was how Colin came to be standing on a dock in the Tampa Bay, suitcase in one hand and nagging wife at the other.
“Well? Where is he?”
Colin bit back the urge to sigh and replied as levelly as he could. “He’ll be here. He’s probably here already. There are a lot of people.”
“Well, I don’t know how we could miss him in this crowd; he’s so tall. I don’t think he’s here yet. This was his idea, wasn’t it? And he has our tickets. I think it’s rather rude...”
Colin turned away, doing his best to block out Deb’s running commentary. The Florida sun was bearing down on them, making the rather pleasant 80 degree weather seem like a cool day in Hell. He’d probably end up with sunburn on the top of his head.
He heaved a sigh, looking back to Deb.
“...and will you just look at that woman’s hat! This is why I don’t like coming to the states...”
Colin found himself wishing for the hundredth time since stepping foot on the airplane in Toronto that it was only he and Ryan on this trip. Oh, Deb would surely lighten up once they were on the boat; she was merely hot and cranky and nervous at the moment. They’d all end up having fun together, but Colin honestly would have preferred to spend the week with his best friend.
Speaking of whom.... Colin glanced around. There was still no sign of Ryan. He reached up to wipe a beaded line of sweat from his forehead and looked out over the ocean. It really was a gorgeous day. The sky was a deep blue, only marred by a few wispy white clouds. One of those clouds hanging low over the horizon caught his eyes. If he turned it sideways it almost looked like–
“Hey, a dinosaur!”
Grinning wildly, Colin spun to greet his best friend in the entire world. Ryan looked great as usual as he smiled at the same cloud Colin had been watching. A short sleeved dark blue button down beautifully accented his naturally tan skin and dark blond hair. In jeans and sneakers he appeared completely at ease.
Colin looked down at his own clothes, an environmental t-shirt he’d gotten free at some benefit or other and a pair of khakis, all chosen for purpose rather than style. He grimaced self consciously before once again looking up at Ryan, wondering if there was ever a time he’d looked that good.
“I was thinking more of a giraffe,” Colin replied, flawless grin still in place, “though dinosaurs are better....”
Ryan just grinned wider, scooping Colin into a tight sideways hug which Colin returned with relish. Seeing Ryan always left him practically overjoyed. It wasn’t anything he said or did; just his sheer presence seemed to make everything right in the world. As corny as it sounded, it actually made perfect sense. How could anything be wrong when there was someone around who he knew, just knew beyond a shadow of a doubt would understand his every word, spoken or not, and back him up till he was blue in the face even when he was dead wrong. Someone who laughed at same things he did, who he could just sit with, each doing his own thing, not even speaking because it wasn’t necessary. Just his being there would be enough to put Colin at ease.
Colin realized with a start that while he had been staring at his friend like a love sick puppy, Ryan had asked him a question. He gave himself a shake and asked, “What?”
“I said, are you two ready to get the Hell off this God forsaken continent?”
“Oh,” Colin laughed. “Yeah.” He stepped back, swinging out the arm that wasn’t encumbered by his suitcase toward the ship. “Lead the way.”
But it was actually the women who took the lead, chatting pleasantly all the while. Ryan and Colin fell back a few paces, matching each other step for step as they followed in their female counterparts’ wakes. They were silent as they walked and very comfortably so, faces forward, arms brushing ever so slightly as if a subtle but constant reminder that they weren’t alone.
Colin loved walking with Ryan for just that reason. He loved to be touched, craved it like a flower craves sunlight, and Ryan was always very good at complying. From their everyday life to their on stage personalities, Ryan always found a way to touch him, to let him know there was someone there who cared for him.
Deb didn’t like to touch.
She had at first, back in the days when she was pursuing Colin and they were very much in love, but after the wedding things changed. Luke was born. They could no longer hold hands as they walked down the street because one or the other would be holding the baby. If Colin tried to walk closer, Deb would complain that he was crowding her. In fact, he got that a lot. Lounging on the sofa or snuggling in bed she’d often push him away and always with a soft, but stern “You’re crowding me.”
With Ryan he didn’t have to beg to be touched. Perhaps that was one of the reasons he so adored the company of the tall goof. Ryan had picked up on the need early on in their friendship, back when they’d lived in Vancouver, and catered to it accordingly. It was just the touch of his knee while watching tv or the infamous brushing of the arm while they walked, but it was always there; there was always something letting him know he wasn’t alone. Now it was more likely reflex than a conscious decision, but Colin appreciated it all the same.
Once inside their cabin Deb couldn’t seem to stop talking, and Colin didn’t mind. As long as she talked he didn’t have to. He was more than content to reside in his own thoughts, paying the barest of attention to her words so he could give the appropriate responses. Her chatter was something he had gotten used to over the years so that by now he could block it out or use it like white noise to help himself think. At this point, if faced with the prospect of absolute silence, he wasn’t sure he’d know what to do with it.
“...and we’re going to go wave to the people on shore. Are you coming?”
He could recognize it in her voice when she was wrapping up and took special care to put his full attention on the last two sentences.
“No,” he shook his head, smiling complacently. “I think I’m going to just read for a bit.”
Deb looked at him incredulously. “Please tell me that you’re at least going to go on deck to do that!”
Colin shrugged. “Well, I–“
“Have you been outside? It’s gorgeous. You are not spending this whole vacation holed up in here like some moody teenager. You know, this is where Luke gets it. If you were more active...”
She went on like that for another full minute, but Colin just watched her, his mind on the books in his suitcase, a couple of sci-fi novels. He considered them as he watched his wife’s lips move, forming words he didn’t register. Books had been a welcome escape his entire life, second only to improv. The two in his bag were calling to him, begging him to run away to worlds of perilous quests and epic battles.
All of this went through his head without any outward indication. He had gotten so used to Deb’s rants that he had perfected this sort of poker face. She wasn’t really mad. She just liked to talk, and now she wanted to talk about her disappointment in Luke in a way that left her free of blame. Colin didn’t mind. It was a self esteem issue, he was sure, so he would let her talk and she would be happy, and in turn she would leave him alone and he’d be happy.
When finally she finished, Colin put on the appropriate face and said, “Of course I’ll go outside.”
Luckily this seemed to satisfy her. Just then there was a knock on the door and Deb turned from nagging wife to gracious host in less than a heartbeat. The transformation would have shocked Colin had he not seen it thousands of times before.
As it was, he simply sat back and watched with a carefully neutral expression as Deb greeted Pat and Ryan with hugs and air kisses. Her earlier annoyance at Ryan had fled the second she’d spotted him, outwardly at least. If Colin hadn’t heard her complaining earlier, it would seem that she thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Their wives were in full on girl mode now, exclaiming excitedly over every little thing, accented by thousands of tiny touches. Their hands flew about like small, white birds, excited beyond all belief, flitting about in an effort to break free of their cage.
Ryan met Colin’s eyes over their heads, rolling his eyes and shrugging in a good natured ‘what can you do?’ sort of way. The girls were still talking in the doorway, so he squeezed around them to plop down next to Colin where he sat on the edge of the bed.
“So?” he asked, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, slouched and half turned to smile at Colin.
It was the vaguest of questions, but Colin knew exactly what he was asking.
“Well, it hasn’t even started yet,” he replied, referring to the cruise in general, “but it looks promising.”
“You’ll have a blast,” Ryan assured him, “and we’ll definitely find some time for just the two of us.” At those words Ryan lifted one hand to lay it gently on Colin’s knee.
Colin smiled, and it was that touch that caused it, conscious or not. Ryan was here. Of course he would have fun.
“You boys going to stay here?” That was Pat, cute and petite in a little yellow sun dress. Colin smiled vaguely at her. She was so small and perfect. Ryan used to pick her up and swing her around in their younger days.
Colin had always hated her.
But he pushed that thought aside with relative ease. He’d gotten so used to doing it, to plastering a genuine smile on his face instead of crossing the room and strangling the life out her thin, perfect body that it was second nature. He didn’t know why he hated her; he’d never really let himself contemplate it.
All he cared was that Ryan was still sitting beside him, long fingers warm against his thigh.
“Yeah,” Ryan answered. That was another habit they’d acquired over the years. If someone addressed them as a pair, Ryan would take on the duty of responding. Colin didn’t mind; Ryan knew him well enough to correctly deduce his responses, and besides, Colin liked hearing Ryan’s voice. “You two go ahead,” Ryan was continuing. His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at their wives. “We’re going to stay here and catch up.”
The women nodded and turned to go, but then Deb turned back, pointing at Ryan and saying with a playful sternness, “Don’t you let him stay holed up here all day. He needs to get some sun.”
Apparently it was funny, her talking about him as if he were a deaf five year old. Ha ha. Colin smiled as they all had their chuckle, waiting patiently for the joke to dissipate.
Soon after the women were gone and Ryan and Colin were left alone. Finally. Colin looked to Ryan as he scooched back on the bed, leaning against the headboard, long legs settled across Colin’s lap. He didn’t ask if the intrusion of personal space was okay; he didn’t have to. Through trial and error over two decades, Ryan had learned that pointing out Colin’s need to be touched was as good as not touching him at all. Asking permission led to awkwardness and embarrassment, so he’d just stopped.
“So, what’s new with you?” Ryan asked, threading his fingers together and pillowing his head on his open palms.
“Not much,” Colin shrugged. And then with a playful smile, “Did I tell you I was going on a cruise?”
Ryan chuckled. “No, I don’t think you mentioned it.”
“Oh, yeah. My friend set it up. You know the guy: tall, gawky, huge nose...”
Ryan was outright laughing now. “Yeah, I think he told me about that. Said it was for this balding, backwater old man...”
They both dissolved into soft, sighing laughs and then just looked at each other. There was an incredible warmth in the room, an unspoken connection. Had they been women it would have been followed by squishy hugs and tearful ‘I’ve missed you’s,’ but they were men. Men didn’t do that.
Instead Ryan just shuffled a little, nudging Colin’s stomach affectionately with one calf. “What were your plans for the day?”
Colin blinked and then settled back on his elbows, staring at the opposite wall thoughtfully.
“What is there to do?”
“Well,” Ryan said, pulling his hands from behind his head to tick off a list on his fingers. Most of it sounded incredibly boring to Colin, though he was sure Pat and Deb would be taking full advantage of the spa and Ryan would drag him down to the pool at least once over the course of the week. “And then we’ll be docking at an island in the keys for a day for a luau,” Ryan remarked as he wrapped up. “Oh, and there’s a ballroom with dancing, but...” he waved a hand dismissively. “What do you think?”
Colin smiled, still watching the wall. “I think I want to read.”
Ryan laughed. “No wonder Deb asked me to take care of you. We’re going to have to drag you kicking and screaming to get you to have any fun.”
Colin turned to him, still smiling. He didn’t say it, but he was already having the time of his life. Just talking to Ryan, hearing that deep, rumbling voice and feeling the warmth of his skin through his jeans was enough to keep Colin content for months.
“You know what?” Ryan said after another moment of just watching each other. “I bet it’s going to be really crowded up on deck for a while, and I’m tired. Do you mind if I take a nap while you read?”
Colin wasn’t stupid. He knew Ryan was just making excuses so as to make his choice of activities feasible, and though he felt bad for keeping Ryan from going out and doing something, anything more active, the thought of lying on his belly reading a good book with Ryan snoring softly beside him was too good to pass up. He’d make it up to him later.
“I’d like that,” Colin said honestly, gratefully.
They had the kind of friendship where one could never be truly happy while the other was not, and on the other end of the scale, if one did something to make the other smile, anything they were giving up would be more than worth it. Now was no different; Ryan didn’t mind putting his plans on hold, not when he could do something for Colin. Besides, Colin would have done the same for him. He curled up on his side, his back resting lightly against Colin’s side and was soon fast asleep.
Colin had intended to start in on one of his books, but after only a few pages he became far too distracted to continue. With each inhale Ryan’s back pressed light against him. Even in sleep Ryan couldn’t seem to stay still.
Fascinated, Colin removed his glasses and folded them neatly, laying them on the beside table along with the novel. He lay his head on his folded arms, watching the back of Ryan’s head as it shifted with every breath. The tiny dark blond curls made intricate patterns, and soon Colin found himself drifting to sleep trying to find pictures in the back of Ryan’s head.
“They’re sleeping. It’s probably fifty degrees and pouring rain back home and they’re wasting this gorgeous day sleeping!”
“Well, Ryan did have to get on a plane, and you know how much that takes out of him.”
“Then what’s Colin’s excuse?”
“Deb, honey, they’re boys. We’ll never understand them.”
Colin opened his eyes slowly, awoken by the increasingly intrusive chatter of their wives. Some time while they’d slept, Ryan had rolled to face him and now Colin stared straight into his laughing green eyes. Ryan was smiling widely, lips pulled into an almost horizontal line, corners tilted dramatically, eyes squinted in silent laughter. Colin always thought he looked beautiful when he smiled like that. He couldn’t help but grinned in return despite the rude awakening.
They stayed that way for a moment and then Ryan winked, crying, “All right! We’re up! We’re up!” He sat up and Colin followed soon after, blearily rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Well, it’s about time!” Deb was standing a little ways off, hands on her hips, frowning slightly.
Pat was just behind her and to the left. She had her arms crossed, amusement lighting up her eyes.
Colin watched her. He saw her look from him to somewhere above his head – meeting Ryan’s eyes, he assumed. She started laughing then and Colin knew it was because of something Ryan was doing just for her. He couldn’t stand to look at her one more second.
“Come on, boys,” Deb said with a sudden spring in her step. She gave a twirl, her floofy, printed skirt lifting with the movement. “You’re taking us to dinner and then dancing!”
Ryan pulled a face. As Deb was speaking he had crawled off the bed and crossed the room to envelope Pat in a tight backwards hug. Colin was still staunchly not looking at them.
“I hate dancing,” Ryan groused.
“But Colin loves it,” Deb countered, now doing a little impromptu dancing of her own. She stooped down, reaching for Colin’s hands and attempting to pull him to his feet. He gave only the weakest of resistance but was too heavy for her to pull him to his feet without his allowance.
It was true that he liked dancing. There was just one problem. “I’m a terrible dancer.”
“Then you’re in luck!” Deb smiled, reaching for Colin once again. This time he let her tug him forward, climbing to his feet reluctantly. “There are salsa lessons tomorrow morning!” she declared, guiding Colin into a waltz.
“You two are too much,” Pat giggled, still settled securely in Ryan’s arms.
“My little Frank Sinatra,” Deb cooed, spinning Colin and giving him a brief hug.
Colin stumbled out of the spin gracelessly to fall back on the bed. “More like Frank Zappa.”
“Not even,” Ryan laughed. “At least he could sing.”
“Oh, posh.” Deb waved a hand at him, and then finally stopped her dancing to address their friends. “Well? What are you waiting for? Go get changed! We’ll meet you outside the dining room in an hour.”
“An hour?” Ryan exclaimed.
“Honey,” Pat said, tilting her head far back to look into her husband’s eyes. “You can’t rush greatness.”
“Exactly,” Deb smiled. “Now go.” She waved her hand dismissively.
Colin watched them leave with a carefully controlled mask. Ryan turned at the threshold to wave, and Colin ed him a genuine smile and waved right back, but the moment Ryan was gone, the smile went with him.
Colin’s eyes followed Deb as she flitted about the room. First she had to lay out clothes for herself and then she laid out clothes for Colin, knowing he was just as content to show up in jeans and a t-shirt. She rethought her dress, took a quick shower, rethought her dress again, put on makeup, rethought her dress yet again, did her hair and then finally end up in the dress she had originally chosen.
It really did take an hour.
Most of the time Colin spent resuming his reading. With Deb’s running diatribe in the background, it was easy to concentrate. Fifteen minutes before they were set to go, and just as Deb was starting to freak out, Colin jumped in the shower, shaved, dressed and still had five minutes to spare.
They ended up ten minutes late.
“It’s these damn shoes,” Deb was complaining as she walked arm in arm with Colin through the uncomfortably cramped corridors. “They’re the only ones that do this dress justice, and you had to go and pack them all the way at the bottom of my pink suitcase....”
Deb had packed all her own clothes, but Colin didn’t mention that.
He spotted Ryan down the corridor, looking down and smiling, presumably speaking with his wife though Pat wasn’t visible over the heads of the people crowded between them. Just then he looked up and caught Colin’s eye. He smiled wider and waved them over. Colin was suddenly reminded of their days in England. It had been that long since he’d last seen Ryan in a proper suit. He looked good. Then, he always looked good.
When they met up, Deb greeted their friends with those air kisses she was so fond of while Colin stood back and watched.
Dinner was an erratic affair. They were seated at a large table with two other couples. Pat and Deb bonded instantly with the other wives, though all four men remained somewhat reserved. It frustrated the women to no end, but what they didn’t realize was that men were far less interested in talking than they were about doing. They didn’t get to know each other by asking questions; they had to challenge each other, sort out strengths and weaknesses and only when a sufficient bond was formed would any sort of real conversation commence.
They tried, if only for the womens’ sakes. Conversation was short and halted and eventually completely overpowered by the force that is the female gossip.
Colin made a minimal effort to be social. Sandwiched between Deb and Pat he felt very alone, an island surrounded by miles and miles of water. Ryan tossed him an encouraging smile every now and again, but it wasn’t enough. He wanted a touch, but there was no way Ryan could comply without making things awkward.
Instead Colin shuffled his chair closer to Deb, brushing his thigh against hers. A moment later she scooted away. He tried again, laying his hand on the table so that the back of it just brushed the hairs of her bare forearm, but again she moved away. Finally Colin reach out to lay one hand on her back in a gesture he’d always assumed was loving but not too intimate for public display.
Deb had been leaning forward, discussing some sort of perfume with the blond woman across the table, but now she sat up, shrugging his hand off as she did so.
“Colin,” she barked, and then paused, remembering where they were. “Darling.” She was smiling now, voice sugary sweet. “Would you mind moving over? You’re crowding me.”
“Sorry.” Colin gave her a weak smile and pushed his chair back. He could feel Ryan’s eyes on him, but refused to look up. He knew his friend would be watching him with pity, and he couldn’t stand it. Suddenly he couldn’t breathe; he had to get out of there. Now.
He jumped to his feet so quickly that he actually toppled his chair. One leg collided painfully with his calf, but he didn’t let on, didn’t even flinch, just carefully bent down to right the chair.
“Sorry,” he said for the second time in less than a minute. “I think I’m going to go. I’m beat.”
“You can’t go...” Deb was whining adorably, but he could see the anger in her eyes.
“I’m really tired.”
“But the dancing...”
“We can go dancing tomorrow,” Colin offered. She was still watching him, anger melting into curiosity. He lowered his voice considerably. “Please?”
“Well, of course!” Deb stood then, hugging him in a way that wouldn’t crinkle her dress. “If you’re not feeling well, then of course you can go.” She smiled brightly and shooed him away. “Get some rest. We have a lot planned for tomorrow!”
The gracious wife act was just for show, Colin knew. He’d hear about her anger and disappointment later, but that was okay. Just more background noise to read to.
He didn’t go back to his room, however, but made his way around the deck, circling the large ship in a lazy circuit.
The air was still warm from the day’s sun, but it held the promise of growing far colder before morning. Young couples traversed the ship hand in hand, arm in arm. It was a depressing sight, Colin thought as he wandered the deck alone.
They were far from shore now, land just a pithy line on the horizon. Out on the ocean the stars shone brightly in an inky black sky. Colin looked up as he walked, trusting his feet to take him where they may. Staring up like that he felt as though he were falling.
“Hey.”
Colin jerked to a halt, his gaze swinging down to find the owner of the voice. With the sudden movement he became disoriented. If he had been falling into the sky, then wasn’t he upside down now? Confused, his body took a stumbling step backwards, but a large, warm hand reached out to steady him.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Concerned green eyes looked almost black in the moonlight.
“Ryan.” Colin smiled. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Ryan returned, smiling bewilderedly. He searched Colin’s eyes, the hand that had steadied him sliding around his shoulders in a vague hug. “Seriously, are you okay?”
“Me? Yes, I’m fine.”
“You’re sure?” Ryan certainly didn’t look convinced. Colin knew he Ryan could read him far too well to be placated by such an obvious lie, but he wasn’t in the mood to discuss his shortcomings at the moment.
Colin smiled into Ryan’s eyes, knowing Ryan wouldn’t believe him, but saying it anyway. “I just needed some air.”
Ryan continued to watch him, wanting to pry, but wondering if any good would actually come of it. Colin just met his gaze evenly. He had gone to his zen place. No matter how long Ryan stared at him, he wouldn’t crack. Rather, he found he was enjoying the moment. Ryan still had one arm slung around his shoulders; their faces were inches apart. He could taste the filet mignon and rich bordeaux on his friend’s breath and wondered, for just a moment, if he would be able to taste it on his lips.
“There you two are!”
Pat was striding toward them, hands on her hips, a smirk playing about her lips, and the moment was gone. Ryan stepped back, leaving one hand on Colin’s back but raising the other arm to wrap around the tiny, perfect waist of his tiny, perfect wife.
“We were starting to think you two had run off together,” she laughed, snuggling into his side.
Deb came up beside Colin and threaded her arm through his, tugging him away from Ryan. He let her. Her touch wasn’t the same, but it would do.
“I thought you were going to bed,” she said as they all began the walk back toward their adjacent cabins.
Colin shrugged. “I never made it.”
Deb laughed quizzically, giving his arm a squeeze. “Colin, darling, you are a piece of work.”
Colin ed her a humorless smile and then moved his gaze to the horizon. A head of them the sky met the water in a thin white line that quickly graduated to blue and then black. Somewhere the sun was still shining, but for now Colin had only the light of the stars to guide his way.
tbc
11/07/05
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instead of the comment so long it wont fit in the comment box...
I loved it!!! Parts of it made me tear up, it was so.... word of justice. It reminds me tons of why and how its so amazing being friend with you. mind if i copy it and put it in my LJ for posterity? persterity? post... you know what i mean ^_^.